Roscoe, No! That’s Not A Dog Bone!

This story of a dog gnawing off its owner’s toe is so great. First, there’s the idea that it happened. I guess Linda Floyd has no feeling in her feet due to diabetes, she had a hangnail, put a bandage on it, and went to sleep. AS she slept, dear little Roscoe the miniature dachshund became very interested in her toe, and…lick, lick, nibble, nibble, nibble, nibble, chompchompchomp. He chewed off her toe, got into the knuckle, and hit an artery. When she woke up, she wondered what he was doing. Nope, you definitely have no feeling in your feet at all.

But there are so many side things that are worth mention. I think the best quote in this whole story is “It’s hard to take in when you walk in a room and there’s a dog eating your mom.” I wouldn’t even attempt to disagree with the poor daughter of Linda Floyd, but when it’s written down like that, I can’t help but giggle.

Then there’s the way the article makes a point of saying that they’re not sure if dear little Roscoe is purebred or not, as if the fact that he might be a mixed breed would make him more likely to chew on toes. That doesn’t fucking matter. He’s a d! o! g! They’re animals, and it doesn’t matter how good its breeding is. That does not guarantee against something super wacky happening. Other dogs have chewed off other owner’s toes. Just ask Terry Smith or Frank Monarrez. It doesn’t matter the fucking breed.

And then there’s this prize quote: “The daughter bought the dog as a companion for her mother after Floyd broke her right leg April 18, 2007, and became disabled after surgery on the leg, which was not done at Saint Anthony’s.”

Yeah, because when I’m hobbling around on fucking crutches and trying to figure out how to get everything of mine taken care of, what I need is to have to take care of a puppy, walk it, relieve it, bend over and pick up its poop. *mutter grumble curse*. People who think that a dog as someone’s companion is the best thing they can do obviously have never taken care of a dog. If Linda eventually wanted a dog, that would be great, but let her make the decision to get the puppy. I guess it worked out….until now…but still.

And finally, the easiest thing in the story to pick up on. The family lives on Gross street. That was definitely gross.

Now little Roscoe has gone to the other side. I don’t know how to feel about that. I understand why they did it, but I don’t think the dog did it out of viciousness. But I don’t think I could have lived with the dog, and I would have felt guilty as hell if the dog had been adopted out and had another nibble. I just don’t know what to think. I guess euthenizing him was the only way to go. I wonder if Linda will get another puppy.

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