I Did What? I’m Seeing Judge Who?

The story of Brett Tyler Schatte would have been a pretty good one even without being able to play the name game. I mean you know it’s been a hell of a night when you’re finally hauled into the clink after walking naked into a convenience store at 10 to 3 in the morning, eating a bag of chips and a Slim Jim and downing a bottle of Gatorade before trying to pick up a date for the night by attacking a female customer and attempting to pull her shirt up and her skirt down. Oh, and we can’t forget chucking the big ass jug of windshield washer fluid at the guy who rescued her and threw you out of the place. There’s also the trying to run from the cops twice part. You got caught, but it wouldn’t have been a true party if you didn’t try.

Man, when you sober up and realize you’re in jail on $2500 bail and facing charges of indecent exposure, disorderly conduct, public drunkenness, retail theft and harassment, it’ll suck, but you’ll still be able to laugh when you find out that your case is being heard by a judge named
Harold Bender.

Just do me a favour, don’t try to get him to hit the town with you. The name probably doesn’t mean what you’re hoping it does.

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