Scary Stuff And Doggy Frustrations

Yesterday, I got some surprising news. It came in a strange way. I’m on a guide dog mailing list, and a puppy raiser was describing the new puppy she got and naming off his littermates. One of them was the same name as a dog given to one of my classmates!

People are probably thinking, “Yeah, ok, whatever.” But the thing is there’s a rule that no two working dogs from GDB will have the same name. So…that has to mean my classmate’s dog didn’t work out!

I emailed her and found out what happened, and yup, the poor pooch had to be retired. I guess working as a guide was just too stressful for the poor thing, and he’s feeling better now that he can just hang out and be a pet.

Just the thought of a classmate of mine having to retire a dog already set off the alarm bells in me. I don’t mean to think about it, but I always have this lurking fear that something will happen to Trixie and bring her career to an end. She’s so timid that I’m afraid the wrong thing will just scare her too much and she’ll go on permanent strike.

Plus, it doesn’t help that for the last few days, we’ve had trouble again. She’s not exactly reckless now, she’s poky and unsure and I don’t know why. Every time I set off on a walk that I hope will build confidence, it doesn’t. It only makes me worry more. I start to wonder if I’m not being consistent, or not trusting her when I should so she’s stopped trying, or if it’s medical, or if it’s got to do with the weather and will just go away, or what.

Plus her poop schedule has gotten all irregular again. I hadn’t switched foods yet because I listened to a guy who said that I probably shouldn’t switch foods mid-digestive problem. I thought that made sense. Maybe I’m stupid for thinking that. So as long as she was on the pumpkin, she was good. The pumpkin finished off, and the poop schedule got all weird. So hi ho, hi ho, it’s back on pumpkin we go, meanwhile, I worry that this food is messing with her, and maybe I should have switched and it’s all my fault. Plus I’m terrified that she’ll have a problem and I’ll go to the vet and he’ll be upset that I didn’t switche immediately. Aaa! Then I feel so juvenile that I’m worried about such things.

It’s amazing how much the guide dog not behaving just messes with me completely. I think about it, then wonder if it’s me, if it’s her, what it is. Then the more I worry, I hear the chorus of “Your feelings go down the leash! Your feelings go down the leash!” and I try to stop worrying, but the more I try to stop feeling the way I do, it just gets worse.

If I can’t get this to stop, I’m going to call Chuck, the guy from the school who does home interviews and followups and such. But I’m afraid, and I know this is stupid, that if I tell him I did a food switch, he’ll say it’s all the fault of the food, and that I should go back to the Eukanuba. But I felt ok switching foods because zillions of folks switch food.

Aaaa! You know what? This is what I get for saying that my first year was relatively easy. This is what I get for having an easy food switch. This is what I get. Wish me luck. I just want my pooch back!

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