>Newsflash, You’re Busted

>Wow. This woman could be outsmarted by a puppy.

Let’s do a quick review. This woman, who is going by the name of “Bernann McKinney, decides to pay some scientists in Korea a bunch of bucks to clone Booger, her dead pit bull. Aside: People, name your dogs better things than Booger andPooper! Anyway, the puppies arrive, and she makes news. Suddenly her face is everywhere, and quickly, news reporters who have been around a while say she looks awfully familiar. She looks a hell of a lot like a certain Joyce McKinney, Joyce Bernann McKinney to be exact, who ran away from several trials, the most noteable of which involved her kidnapping and forcing a missionary to have sex with her. Yeah, when the story involves mink-lined handcuffs, it’s memorable.

Of course, reporters start inquiring, and she gets mad, says she’s not that woman, then finally breaks down crying, saying she is, but she thought people could focus on the puppies without bringing up the bad stuff.

And this is the part where I say, “Are you stupid?” She has to be beyond stupid for two reasons:

  1. Even if people wanted to focus on the positive, they’re going to remember a case like that. People, especially women, don’t usually run around stalking and kidnapping people they’re infatuated with and then chaining them to a bed and raping them. She would have to be stupid to not think that people would focus on that instead of her cute puppies.
  2. If she wanted to keep a low profile and run away from the cops, that doesn’t fit in well with a lot of media attention. People are going to notice things.

I love how she claims that she’s been trying to do good for years when police reports say otherwise. Good people don’t usually write bad cheques, assault public officials and mistreat a horse…oh wait, the horse charge was dropped, but the others still stand. The only thing this chick has been able to convince me is that she’s really dumb.

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