Cleanup In Aisle 5

The funniest thing aboutthisisn’t that somebody thinks Northern Peaks is a good name for a porn channel or even that part of the draw is that much of it’s programming will be made in Canada thus ensuring that for the first time ever somebody will actually watch a Canadian movie. Oh no. What makes this so great is this sentence:

“Canadians love watching Canadian adult content,” he sad. “I think it’s the fantasy of it that it’s somebody you can actually run into in the grocery store.”

The he in question is station president Shaun Donnelly, a man I never want to go shopping with.

Seriously, where did that line come from? Not sure about the rest of you, but when I’m standing in the produce section picking out cucumbers, the last thing I want is some semi-famous woman I jerked off to the night before standing next to me, looking from me to the shelf, me to the shelf, sizing both of us up. I know she’s thinking “ok, I could take him home and fuck him, but he’s nowhere near as big as these things and I don’t have to buy them dinner first. Hell, they are dinner.”

And let’s say you can get over that part. What kind of conversation can you possibly strike up with this woman.

“You know, I really enjoy your work. In fact I enjoy it so much that I think you should pay for part of my wrist surgery. Oh by the way, you dropped your uterus.”

I can’t imagine that being the stuff of anybody’s fantasy life, at least not anybody who gets out of the house much. Then again, the more time somebody spends inside thinking about this kind of thing the more likely that person is to order the station, so maybe he’s on to something after all and the crazy one is me.

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