Emergency Rooms, Open Your Doors, There’s An Imbecile Coming In!

Here’s another one from my brother the baker. It’s always nice to know that my lack of faith in humanity isn’t unfounded.

Unless your some relation to the Pillsbury Doughboy, you shouldn’t try this.

Yesterday, I was slicing bread out in the front of the store when some woman came in. I’d say she was about 55 to 60. She wanted to buy half a pound of yeast. We figured she was going to bake herself some bread or something, so we sold her her half pound of yeast. Just before she goes out the door with it, she says, “Yes, my doctor says I’m low on Vitamin B12, and yeast is high in that, so I’m going to eat this.”

Hold on there, lady! Do you not know that yeast is alive, it’ll rise in your stomach, make you all bloated up, and to cap all that off, if you don’t blow your gizzard out your forehead, you’ll be shitting through the eye of a needle, because that’s what yeast does? It lives in your intestines.

All I can say is I hope she conducts this little experiment outside, where at least she won’t leave a mess for her family to clean up when she parts down the middle like the Red Sea.

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