This just came into my inbox, and I laughed, laughed, and laughed some more. Maybe the sane among us would only snore at this, but I thought dog-owners would laugh along with me. I didn’t write this. It was written by a guy named Tom K.
Have you ever had to make excuses for being late for work? Don’t you just hate having to run to catch an early morning flight?
Do you miss all those middle-of-the-night asteroid showers- or do you just like to be up at the crack of dawn to watch the sunrise? Well, sleep late no more! Because NOW, for a limited time, you can get the bedside clock that is GUARANTEED to have you vertical and running at top speed the INSTANT it sounds its alarm!
You won’t even feel like using a 10-minute snooze feature-which is why we haven’t built one into this clock! Why not, you ask? The name says it all. The revolutionary new Hurka Gurka Clock will ensure that you never again miss an important appointment. What’s more, you’ll be wide awake from the second your feet hit the floor, ready to take on your day!
Here’s how it works. The Hurka Gurka Clock simulates those gut-wrenching pre-vomit sounds coming from deep within your dog’s stomach. The alarm sounds softly at first, easing you out of your early-morning REM sleep. Then the sounds become louder and more pronounced, until you are brought completely to your senses by an unmistakable BLAP sound effect that can only mean one thing – touchdown!
Tests have shown that no one can turn over and go back to sleep while thinking of stomach acids working their way into the carpet. You’re wide awake in an instant-guaranteed! And if you order in the next five minutes, we’ll include a FREE 20 oz. container of Nature’s Miracle, for those times when your dog – not the Hurka Gurka Clock — is the one who wakes you up.
So come on! Stop missing all those beautiful sunrises! Don’t risk being mistaken for a terrorist by running through airports to catch your flight! Call now! Operators are standing by.