From the truly groundbreaking research department comes a positively shocking piece of news.
Seems that researchers from Cornell University have used the wonders of science to prove conclusively thatfat people tend to have different buffet habits than smaller folks.
Among their findings were shocking revelations such as obese people sit an average of 16 feet closer to the food, generally face it and even chew less. they also observed that only 16% of the fatties sat in a booth, compared to 38% of those who could find themselves consumed by the aforementioned fatties should they happen to accidentally get between them and a ham.
The full results of the study published in the journal Obesity are much the same as findings published at the dawn of time in the journal You Don’t Fucking Say and the journal Who’s Funding This Shit?