Blondes Have More Dumb

In general I’m not a supporter of the death penalty, but cases involving people such asCharlotte Feeneyreally test that position, because I’m not sure that a good reason exists for allowing somebody so shallow and stupid to continue breathing my air.

Feeney filed a lawsuit against L’Oreal Inc. that was thankfully tossed out because she claims they put the wrong hair colouring in the box she bought and it messed up her hair, and subsequently her life. My words can’t do this next part justice, so I’ll quote her whinging tripe directly from the article in the Connecticut Post.

According to the lawsuit, Feeney on Aug. 27, 2003, purchased a tube of L’Oreal permanent hair color from a local supermarket to touch up her naturally blond hair.

A friend was applying the hair color when Feeney realized that her tresses had been transformed to a dark brown, the lawsuit states. She tried to return her hair to its natural color but it remains brown, according to the suit.

“I was mentally and physically in shock,” Feeney states in court documents. “I was sick to my stomach, I had headaches, I don’t like myself, I stay home more than ever in my life, I wear hats most of the time,” she states.

Feeney said she ended up going to the doctor for anxiety and was put on medications for depression.

“I can never go back to my natural blonde hair,” she complains. “I feel fake about that. Also blondes do get more attention than brunettes, of course, emotionally, I miss that.”

Feeney charged in her lawsuit that a brown hair coloring was somehow put in a box for blonde hair and that the hair coloring industry has a legal obligation to put a warning on every box of hair dye that the color inside the tube may not be the same color as the label.

Reading that again has put me in an even worse moodd than I was in already, so I’ll make this quick and easy.

Listen, you ignorant cow. Your entire case hinges on you wanting to colour your hair. Therefore, you have no right to feel fake about anything. If fraud was such a concern, you wouldn’t have needed to touch up your hair to start with because you wouldn’t have been trying to be something you weren’t, or in other words, a fake. And if your hair was such a concern, you would have taken a few seconds to read the instructions on the damn box and not messed anything up. I hope the next time somebody gives you some of the attention you so crave, it involves the person decking you right upside your blonde, empty head.

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