I Give Up. There’s No Title For Something Like This

“I wish to have sex with you.”

“I must respectfully decline.”

“Please? It would really make my night if in fact I could have sex with you.”

“No thank you, good sir, I wish not these things.”

“Oh come on my sweet. Let us make the wonderful music of love with one another.”

“Again I must respond in the negative, for I require slumber. I would also hope for a man of greater desirability than yourself with whom to fornicate.”

“Ok, if that is how it must be, then so it shall come to pass. However if in the next few minutes you change your mind, you will find me in the basement of our home where I will be expressing my disapproval of your decision byhanging a leak on your dog.”

Torey L. Devaux, 36, was arrested and charged with domestic violence-related disorderly conduct and criminal damage to property. The incident took place at 1:30 a.m. in the 1100 block of South 11th Street.

According to police:

Devaux was drunk when he argued with a woman he lived with who refused to have sex with him. The woman said he went to the basement and urinated on her dog and on the floor.

When the argument continued and the woman’s sister stood up in defense, police say Devaux grabbed the sister and pushed her into a wall. He then left the home and punched out a window

Officers found Devaux on foot near South 10th and Columbus streets and took him into custody.

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