>You Are Here?

>The other day I was going through my files trying to clean things up when I stumbled across a bunch of old search terms that I forgot I had. So since this stuff never truly ages and since there’s always new material coming in, it’s time once again to make fun of our readership and to give you a better understanding of why Steve has such little faith in humankind.

09 Sep, Sun, 20:18:21
Google:
Felt lump while masturbation in anal passage

I think I know what your problem is, especially if you happen to be this guy…

06 Nov, Thu, 05:46:46
Google:
cordless drill masturbator

12 Sep, Wed, 13:07:28
Google
masturbation equipment

Well, I’d suggest staying away from those cordless drills. You know what they say about people who pay no attention to history and all that. And shouldn’t you already have all the equipment you need? Barring a horrible accident, I’d say the answer is yes. If not, maybe somebody from theWar Ampscan hook you up.

Speaking of horrible accidents…

“i think my vibrator spilled battery acid in me”

Leave it to somebody from AOL not to have enough sense to determine whether or not corrosive liquid found its way into her hoo ha.

10 Sep, Mon, 02:38:44
Google:
masturbating makes me unable to sleep

I have the same problem. In fact, it usually keeps me up all night. Zing! You’ve been a great audience, I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your waiter.

15 Sep, Sat, 02:40:23
Google
urinal etiquette statistics -allergy -infection -cancer

My best guess is that this is what you get when you try to search for 6 different things at once.

16 Dec, Sun, 11:49:58
Google:
cooking fat bitchs

Thanks for stopping bye the site, Mr. Lector. It’s good to see you. No, I don’t think I’m free for dinner.

22 Dec, Sat, 09:05:44
Google:
vomit lesbian what eat

No idea have I person what this asking is about.

And finally, here’s one for the What the Fuck Department.

03 Nov, Mon, 14:52:26
Google:
i want to know about gold minning in peru 2008 2009 guestbook @hotmail.com

I’m half tempted to email that address and see if it works. If any of you try it, let me know how it goes.

That’s all I’ve got for now, but I’ll talk to you again soon. In the meantime, if anybody needs me, I’ll be trying to invent a way to pound off with industrial machinery. Something tells me there’s good money in that.

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