Listen up, all you sick bastards from the search box. I need you for something more than everyone’s amusement and ridicule right now. I’m positive that at least one of you has experience in this area, and I need whoever it is to tell me ifthe rectal misadventure described herecould have actually happened, or whether it was some routine church molestation gone horibly awry.
A vicar claims a potato got stuck up his bottom after he fell on to the vegetable while hanging curtains in the nude.
The clergyman, in his 50s, told medical staff at Sheffield’s Northern General Hospital that the accident was definitely not due to a sex game.
He had to undergo surgery to extract the spud from his backside, according to The Sun.
A&E nurse Trudi Watson told the paper: “He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in he kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.
“But it’s not for me to question his story.”
That leaves it up to me, so please, help a guy out.