Back Off! Get Your Own Illness!

Last night I saw the new Maple Leaf Foods you can eat our meat again without being killed by listeriosis ad for the first time. It was pretty simple, a lot like the ones that ran right after the shit hit the fan. Company CEO Michael McCain calmly addresses us, letting us know that well, we can eat their meat again without being killed by listeriosis. He talks up the improved safety procedures that have been adopted, mentions that all of the tests meet or exceed the country’s standards and how committed they are to keeping things clean, all the good stuff. He did a fine job all things considered. Or maybe I should say he almost did a good job. It would have been a good job had it not been for the very end.

“The recall is over,” he says, “but this commitment is just beginning.”

Just beginning? Well, that sure explains a lot about how we got here, doesn’t it? Just beginning seems like an odd choice of words when you’re describing how you plan on not causing any more death by snacktime. It kind of implies that before all of this went down you were operating under the rules and regulations set forth in the standards shmandards guide to corner cutting. I know what it means, but it sounds bad. If it were me, I would have gone with something like the recall is over, but our commitment never will be. But nobody asked me what I thought, so maybe I’ll just go have a sandwich. I hear that’s ok again.

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