Not A Good Kind Of Pole-Dancing

Man, the news is awesome today. Here’s our latest in the hahahahahahahaha you guys suck files. two prisoners were handcuffed together and they were being led somewhere. They bolted to get away…and then fell down and were pepper sprayed…and then got up, got out the door, got across the street…and then met a pole and …

And Don’t Forget, To Give Me Back My…Surgically Implanted Body Parts?

Oh boy. the Wacko parade continues. This guy got dumped by his girlfriend so decided goddamn it, I paid for her breast implants, I’m going to get ’em back even if I have to cut ’em out! This is right up there with the guy who wants his kidney back that he donated to his …

This Would Definitely Be A Crazy Driver

I saw this story yesterday, but didn’t have time to post it. The crazies were really out in full force. Our latest is Veronica Hollifield, who smashed up a few people’s cars, ripped apart a church lobby, and then drove her car completely eratically, although slooowly, sending pedestrians running like scared rabbits in all directions. …

I wonder How Many People Had Cravings For Wings

Having 200 gallons of hot wing sauce spill into the street would profoundly suck. I also get amused by a picture of someone’s car being “engulfed by sauce” even though that too would profoundly suck. And I know whhy they had to do it, but the image of a Haz-mat team cleaning up wing sauce …

Ooo! A Big Brown swimming Pool!

Ug. Just reading this makes me gag. That officer is awesome. If that dog wasn’t a chocolate lab before, he would have looked like one when they pulled him out of that sewage tank packed full of shit. Just the thought that he leapt into a tank of human feces and only human feces makes …

And Now It’s Time For A Somewhat Musical Interlude

Since we’re all having such a great time with this Songsmith business, here’s somebody’s list ofits 9 best, or maybe worst, classic song butcherings. If you’ve been following the posts and comments you’ve seen a few of these already, but boy oh boy, is it ever worth the click just for the fright potential alone. …

The Expression I Think I Can Get You Off Doesn’t Mean That, Sir

In keeping with our ongoing efforts to help out the intellectually disadvantaged, your friends here at Vomit Comet World HQ present another helpful tip for daily living. If you own a thumb drive full of child porn, it’s best to leave that puppy at home. Do not under any circumstances bring it to court with …

Why No, Officer, I Wasn’t Speeding

Ok, this senior citizen needs to never get behind the wheel again. Luckily nobody was hurt, but dear lord! His wife sent him out to get some food, and the poor old guy got lost and somehow ended up going down the wrong side of Interstate 80 for 40 miles, even driving over stop sticks …

Did He Flush His Brain Down The Toilet?

Here’s a very stupid guy. If I were him, I’d give up any criminal involvement. It’s safer if he’d just live an honest life because then he won’t have to worry about getting busted. This guy was in a bathroom calling about a drug deal. yeah, the bathroom in a police station. But oh no, …

>Cold Hands, Even Colder Hearts

>Wow. This day is full of evil stories. Here’s a whole troop of heartless people who plotted to leave their former friend in the woods in freezing temperatures because she was suing the insurance company of one of them. They got this whole plan cooked up, supposedly inviting her to a party with them, so …