Bird Poop in Aisle 3

Here’s something else weird that happened to me when I was home for the holidays.

I got a new braille watch which is awesome. Because braille watches are watches that you use by opening the face and touching the hands, they get more ware than your average watch. They get dirty. the latch that holds the face closed wares out. The parts inside rust from exposure to wetness and things get mucked up by the oils on the skin. So eventually, they just puke and it’s cheaper to get a new one than clean the current one, which sucks because they’re expensive enough as it is.

Anyway, the watch comes sold with a leather band. For some reason I don’t understand, my skin cannot stand leather watch bands. Whenever I’ve tried to wear a leather band, I get a nice rashy ring around where it rests. So I have to get an expansion band.

We went to Wal-Mart to get one. We found one, but it was too big, so we had to get customer service to see if they could take some links out of it. As the girl came around the corner, Trixie turned her head to look at her. This made the girl shriek and say something that left my head spinning. “A dog in here? I never see a dog in here! I’ve seen people come in with a bird on their shoulder, but never a dog!”

She wasn’t mad or anything, I don’t mean to make it sound like a denial of access. she was just really surprised. But my question is why are people bringing birds into Wal-mart on their shoulders? Every bird I’ve ever seen flying freely has a tendancy to shit on random things below. I haven’t had a lot of experience with birds, but every bird I’ve seen seems to do that. They fly around and poop, fly around and poop.

I still laugh about one of the first times I was at Steve’s family’s house. They let their bird out to fly around. I don’t know what it is, but things that I can’t hear moving around until they’re right over my head in enclosed spaces freak me the fuck out. So needless to say, I was a little nervous, and I think his family was taking pleasure in watching me squirm. Probably if I owned a bird and was comfortable with it and someone was over who was all freaked out, I’d find it funny too.

Anyway, before dear old bird was back in his cage, he’d left several carepackages around. So why in hell wouldn’t bird man be forced to take his avian friend outside?

Of course I’m always shocked when people don’t know what a guide dog is, but that’s just general public weirdness.

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