What The Fuck Was That?

Many times when I hear a song I don’t like, I think to myself lord that’s awful, but I can perhaps understand how somebody with taste not as good as mine could get into it. This, however, is not one of those times.

Have a listen torapper Lil Wayne…um…singing(?) his new rock(?) tune(?) Prom Queenand tell me what you hear. What I hear is a disaster of such scope and magnitude that a scale to describe it has not yet and likely never will be devised. I would apologize for the poor quality of the audio, but I won’t bother because none of you would ever know if I meant the quality of the version I provided or the quality of the sounds being made therein.

I’m not even going to talk about the lyrics because for many reasons I’m not sure what they all are. For our purposes here I’ll leave out that I care not to look them up because the ones I can make out are so stupid,and just stick to problems with the song itself.

Dumb lyrics are the least of our worries here. Just listen to those…vocals? I’m not a fan of auto-tune at the best of times, but this is abuse of technology to such a degree that a small part of me is tempted to call computer protective services. I understand that young Wayne here has a unique voice, but it’s distorted so much that you’d never be able to tell. Rather than a tuneful melody, it sounds like a robot is trying to rape a bumblebee while somebody’s high school garage band plays whatever notes it can think of in the background.

If you’re looking for the reason why the music business is in the sad shape it’s in, point not your finger at peer to peer downloading or the slumping economy, but rather at the sludge-brained numbnut record executives and producers who listened to this and said “that’s it, we’ve got ourselves a single!”

Even if you’re a Lil Wayne fan, hell, even if you’re Lil Wayne himself, there’s no way this song can have a single redeeming quality. If it does, I’d love to hear about it. I’ll take your silence as your agreement with one of the few infallible opinions I’ll ever have.

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