Here are some things Steve and I have noticed in commercials that bug the hell out of us. Yeah, I think we think too much.
There’s a commercial for Delsym cough syrup that says “When America coughs, America has Delsym.” So, I should take from that wording that Delsym is the name of the cough? Maybe it’s the name of the disease that causes the coughing. Wow, I learn something new every day. No? that’s not it? Ok then.
I saw an ad for something called Bio Oil that’s supposed to eliminate scars and stretch marks. But that’s not what the commercial says. According to the ad, Bio Oil improves the appearance of scars and stretch marks. Who would want to have more obvious blemishes?
Here’s an ad that shouldn’t have made it out of the studio. It starts off with the words, “You are what you eat, so make it a hungry man.” I have three visions, none of which are what they had in mind.
My first is the idea of someone eating a canibal. I mean, if you’re eating a hungry man, and you are what you eat, he must have eaten other hungry men…and so it goes.
My second is the thought that this meal is just going to make me more hungry. I am what I eat, right?
The third is the idea that I heard somewhere that those Hungry Man dinners are full of things that are bad for you. So if I am what I eat, hmmm…I shouldn’t make it aHungry Man.
Burger King really needs to rethink the name they gave to those little tiny burgers. They have chosen to call them burger shots. Eeew. Burger shots? that sounds like something the drivethrough guy might do to your burger if you piss him off or he’s had a particularly bad day. Ug. I certainly wouldn’t want to order up some burger shots. And those girls in the ad are really annoying.
The commercial for the Air Wick aqua essences thing bugs me. I actually found the damn thing. the narrator, who apparently is a frog, is going on and on about how you can take the girl out of the rainforest, but you can’t take the rainforest out of the girl, and that’s why she loves these Air Wick Aqua Essences things. then it says “available in aerosol.” Yeah, because that sounds so eco-friendly.
And does anyone else want to throttle the makers of this attrocity? My teeth may thank me, but my ears sure don’t. I don’t know what it is about these chipmunk tooth voices, but they have this way of grating on my ears in a rhythmic fashion that sounds like someone’s punching me in the head every time they say “Thank Yooooo!”
And that’s all I have for now. When I was writing them down, it seemed like I had more ideas. Oh well.