>I don’t know if there’s surveillance video to see for this story, but even if there isn’t, the description is fine.
Two dudes decide that they’re going to break into a house. Their first method of breaking in was for one of them to run down the length of the yard and slam his body into the porch door. This epically fails, sending dear dumbass flying backwards onto the ground, where he wrythes in pain. Then dumbass no. 2 decides he’s going to throw a brick through the window, but this sets off the alarm. They ran away with nothing. Ha ha ha, you guys suck. I like saying that today.