Catch Me If You Can! You Can’t? Ok Then, See Ya!

Ok, let me get this straight. In the UK, we can’t have kiddie pools without lifeguards, but kids can feel free to run out of the schoolyard and the teachers won’t chase them. Seriously. Apparently running after the kids can be an even bigger safety risk and in case you didn’t know, four-year-olds run really really fast…too fast for the teachers to catch them. Nope, they’re not joking. Dudes, do some laps or something. If you can’t catch a 4-year-old, something’s wrong with you. So, they follow behind about 100 or 200 yards to make sure little Johnny doesn’t get into trouble. At that distance, he could get run over, fall down, or get abducted and they wouldn’t have a chance. then they call the police. Sometimes five police vans show up to apprehend little Johnny, who in this case is River Baker. He has run away several times in the past three months. He has been found next to a busy highway, in the woods, and in a neighbouring school.

If you can’t be bothered to chase the kids, shut the damn gates! Make it at least hard for the kids to get out. Apparently this four-year-old has climbed the six-foot fense, but that’s a hell of a lot harder than just walking out the front entrance, which he has also done.

but seriously, can you not catch a four-year-old? I think even I would have a sporting chance.

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