It’s Florida, What More Need I Say

I think it’s fair to say that it wouldn’t be out of line to expect a story headlinedFight breaks out in car driving on U.S. 19, man batters another with fish tank and beer bottle, cops sayto be pretty damned awesome, and boy oh boy does this one not disappoint.

Daniel L. Winter, 26, spent Monday evening at a strip joint called Calendar Girls in Port Richey. A few minutes before midnight, his friends — Ashley Decicco, 18, and her boyfriend Shaun Nater, 30 — picked him up and they all ate at a Burger King. Afterward, as Decicco drove her car northward on U.S. 19, she asked Winter for the $3 in gas money.

Winter, who was sitting in the back of the car, said no. He couldn’t pay it, he said, because his rent was due — even though he had just been at Calendar Girls and eaten at Burger King.

Then, according to authorities, they argued and Winter slapped Decicco in the face as she drove.

This enraged her boyfriend, Nater, so he twisted around from the front passenger seat and punched Winter, according to the Pasco County Sheriff’s Office.

Then Winter grabbed the fish tank.

It just happened to be in the back seat of the car. He allegedly beat Nater with it, but the fish tank had no effect on Nater, according to a report, so Winter grabbed another weapon — a beer bottle, also from the back seat. Authorities say Winter pummeled Nater with the beer bottle, but Nater was able to wrestle it away from him — all while Decicco drove along U.S. 19.

After getting the bottle from his friend, Nater bashed it over Winter’s head several times until it broke, authorities said.

This brawl on U.S. 19 continued until Decicco pulled the car over in a Denny’s parking lot and called deputies, Pasco deputies said.

I give this woman a lot of credit for being able to drive that far while all this was going on without getting into an accident. A lot of drivers have trouble figuring out the whole red means stop thing, so what she accomplished is no small feat.

Both halves of her load of dumbass were taken into custody and charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. *A* deadly weapon? I wonder which one’s considered the safe one. Sorry, couldn’t help myself.

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