Click On The News To Lose

Ok Carin, I see yourwhy is this news cell phone hammer guyand raise youthis fascinating bit of hard hitting journalism,a piece which surely belongs in the founding class of the Who Gives A Good Fuck Hall Of Fame when such is established.

The story goes that the grand prizes in the Tim Hortons Roll Up the Rim To Win contest aren’t exactly distributed fairly,and that people in Ontario are being cheated because we’re 3 trucks short of what we would have if things were proportional.

I read all the way to the bottom looking for the part where the world was going to end,but all I found was this, which is classic.

Still, many customers say they have their sights set lower than the grand prize anyway.

Katie Burtt, a student at the University of New Brunswick in Saint John, said she would happily celebrate a free doughnut.

Let’s take this apart,shall we?

First, and I’m aware this is a small point, but when did many become one? She’s the only person quoted other than the girl who works there who comments on how they sell more stuff during the contest. Thank you, Timmy Obvious.

Now we’ll get to the real problems.

The story is about Ontarians being cheated, so naturally the logical thing to do is…quote somebody from New Brunswick? Last I checked and I consider myself reasonably up on this stuff, we had not yet annexed the people of Saint John and surrounding area, so why would they care?

Speaking of which, if you are a journalist and you feel as though you have just blown the lid off of a national conspiracy, would it not stand to reason that you would use some of that hustle you’ve got to find somebody to quote who seems even the tiniest bit worked up about it? If your story is such a failure that you can’t find anybody in the have not area who will even give you a little bit of fake outrage in the hopes of getting 15 seconds of fame and the best you can do is haul ass across the country to find somebody who’s like it’s really no big deal, why even run the thing? Or if you must, why not do what everybody else does and make shit up?

I love the CBC, but it’s moments like this when I kind of understand why some people get worked up about funding it.

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