Here We Go with The Ads Again

Here we go again with more slogans that caught our attention. What a mishmash this is.

Every timeI see commercials for denture grip, the stuff that holds dentures in place, it says “now with less ooze!” Ug! Doesn’t that sound wonderful? The idea of stuff oozing around my gums just makes me want to gag. But hearing that there is “less” ooze means there is still ooze. And there used to be more. Yuck! It almost makes me want to find a dentist despite all my misgivings about them.

Does anyone else get annoyed with that crazy cheer lady? That’s not the craziest commercial, but it’s the best I can find. There are other ones where she runs off with the guys socks, shirts, I think underwear, and tries to clean them with Cheer, all the while screaming about how this has got a right bit of the dingies. Lady, stay out of my sock drawer! You’re just too intense!

Oh my god, that commercial for Rogers HD TV where this couple gets their cable box and the dude’s convinced it’s going to be a major rennovation effort and then the wife chirps, “You just plug it in!” is so annoying. I was going to ask if it really is as dumb as it seems by posting a link to the commercial, but I can’t find the commercial. Instead, I found this nauseatingly complementary summary of the commercial and yes, it’s as annoying as we thought. and I’ve got news for the reporter. “He’s sooo handy” is not going to be ranked right up there with “where’s the beef?” I’ll probably look at this blog post in a year or so and have to strain my brain to remember what I was talking about.

I don’t know what it is about this mac Snack Wrap commercial, but it bugs the hell out of me. Maybe it’s because it makes me think of all those people on Twitter who right “so and so is eating a sandwich.” And then he seems to be yelling it. Should we care? No.

Remember when I was talking about how the Premier bath commercials creep me out? Well, I’ve seen an even creepier one. It really isn’t that much different. It’s just the way she says “could.” Now it’s all drawn out and all I can think of is that person could…have a little accident. They could…slip in the tub and noone would hear them and…they could…not make it.

tell me how this commercial for Gatorade G2 makes any sense. There has to be something missing, something in the video that’s not in the audio. If you just listen to it, the message sounds like…”I’ve never had this insanely difficult life, nor have I succeeded, but I try real hard and I like to slug down G2 because it’s got less calories than your average energy drink. capital m little m little m little m…” Someone,please enlighten me. The music sounds all inspirational, but I can’t get inspired.

Speaking of horrid messages, this one couldn’t be more clear and more horrible. I saw a commercial for Aleve that showed this woman who, I guess, likes to play badminton. She said something like “When my shoulders hurt and my doctor said I was using my knees too much, that was not the message I wanted to hear. So I took Aleve…and I could get back out there and move again. It helps me get through.” So, kids, the moral of the story is don’t treat an injury, just drug that sucker away. If it hurts again, just take more. There’s no pain if you’re numb. Great job, fellas.

Here’s a rare moment where I’m actually mentioning a commercial because I think it’s good. There are two of them that make me laugh. There’s the one for the Clear Blue home pregnancy test. The line “the most sophisticated piece of technology you will ever pee on” will always make me giggle for some reason.

And for once, CNIB has made a cool commercial! Steve heard it the other day on the radio when he had the ballgame on, and then I got to hear it. It starts off with this flat-voiced guy saying “Hi. I read books for the CNIB library. I read textbooks.” Then this Spanish-sounding guy says “And I read romance novels, but I can also do textbooks.” then the flat-voiced guy says “Hey! I could do romance novels!” to which the Spanish guy replies with “No, no you can’t.” Then the flat guy says “Your hair is blowing.” So the Spanish guy says “I know. That’s because I’m sexy…” And then there’s the CNIB library slogan. they finally made a funny commercial that wasn’t patronizing or annoying. That was kinda cool.

Now, back to ragging on ads. Does anyone else think this sprint commercial is just a tad bit creepy? I mean, at first glance, it’s funny…but if there’s any truth to it, should Sprint be able to compile those kinds of statistics on its users? That seems like a few too many prying eyes watching me use my cellphone. I know, it’s a commercial and it’s probably all bullshit numbers, but there’s a part of me that couldn’t help but go “eeewww!”

I keep seeing these commercials urging folks to move to California. I swear I saw one refer to California as the land of plenty. Hmmm. Plenty of what? No offense to Ann and others who live there, but…um…isn’t California kinda broke right now?

I saw a commercial for Mount Pleasant group of cemeteries that kind of reminded me of that Eden House commercial. It kept urging people to come visit them, as if they would come live there. Uh, it’s a cemetery. I know they have to advertise, but there was something creepy about this commercial. I wish I could find the ad so you could see it and decide for yourself. But I can’t find it.

And that’s the weird mass of stuff for this edition of why the hell do we notice so many commercials? Hope you enjoyed it.

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