Baby’s First Coronary

By the sounds of it, the triplets of Leanne Salt are doomed. But perhaps they were meant to be doomed because their last name is Salt, and they seem to be getting entirely too much salt in their diet, along with too much fat, and too much of everything else.

Their mother weighed 40 stone when she gave birth to them. That’s like 560 pounds. She needed a team of 68 staff and a specially-made table to help bring the triplets into the world. She now weighs 30 stone, which is 420 pounds, and she proudly feeds her six-month-old children junk food.

This is one of those stories capable of short-circuiting the brain, but it only happens when she speaks and says things like ‘They were six months old when they had their first McDonald’s. They had chicken nuggets and chips and loved it. They like fish and chips too, but I take the batter off the fish, so I guess that’s healthy.’

or ‘Babies are always hungry. Sometimes it’s easier to give them food that’s already prepared. Anyway, they don’t always have junk food – sometimes I cook a microwave meal for them. My babies are healthy.’

Got news for ya, chicky, microwaving is 9 times out of 10 not cooking. It’s nuking. I know there are ways to cook using the microwave, but I’d bet that’s not what you’re doing.

Or here’s a good one for ya. ‘I feed my babies vegetables every Sunday, and a lot of the baby food I give them has fruit in it. The health visitor told me off for giving them Smash because it has too much salt in, but it’s difficult to know what to feed them sometimes.’

What the hell is smash? And this woman has health visitors coming in. If she’s truly feeding her kids this badly, and she’s not learning, then shouldn’t there be another kind of takeaway in the works, and I’m not talking about fast food? If the kids are in this much danger, shouldn’t something be being done about it?

An even scarier thing is the article makes the point that a lot of kids are eating like crap these days, and I’ve seen news reports about kids as young as 3 drinking a pop every day. Every day? Hell, we hardly ever got pop. It was milk and juice, milk and juice! I saw a news report on the TV where a kid was tantrumming because he couldn’t have a pop. Good lord.

Here’s a final head-spinning quote from the article and Leanne Salt. And she now wants her own council house: ‘I know how to microwave a meal and make up instant mash, so I think we’d all manage.’ 

Ug. Ker flop. I know I don’t have a baby, but…I think I’d take better care of a kid than that…at least I hope so.

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