Tall Trees Hangin’ Over The Resort, Feels Like they’re Tearin’ Us Down

A resort is famous for the palm trees that grow there. People come from miles around to admire them. All is well. Town officials conduct an inspection and determine that having all these trees everywhere is unsafe because children liked to hang around near them at night and even worse, muggers could use them to hide themselves before they strike their victims. Trees are cut down so that the world can be a safer place. All is no longer well.

Did the above take place in:
A. The UK
B. The UK
C. The UK
or
D. The UK?

If you guessed the UK, you win a trip to the now treelessGENTEEL seaside resort.

Amazingly or maybe not so if you’ve been paying attention, this isn’t the first time the trees have run afoul of Torquay Town Council. Two years ago they were felled because it was feared that their overhanging sharp leaves might injure people. For serious. No really. You don’t honestly think I’m capable of making up things this stupid, do you?

But all hope may not be lost. Most of it sure, but not all…yet. After getting not nearly the earful they deserve from outraged area residents, the council is now claiming in true we screwed up fashion that the cutting of the trees was meant merely as a way to tidy the place up before the holidays. They say that they will be replaced, and that 4 more will be added, so the story has a happy ending for now.

I’d suggest that some helpful townsfolk bring it to council’s attention that muggers can also hide behind their building so that they’ll knock the thing down for the good of society,but knowing how the UK works they would just spend a few million pounds building a new one, so we’ll pretend I never mentioned it.

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