Lemon Salad: Coming Soon To Your Prison Cafeteria

It’s been a surprisingly long time since we’ve had any culinary kerfuffles on which to report, but today I give you 2 for the price of 1.

First up is a case of bitterness from Boca Raton. Mandi Valentine, 40, was arrested and charged with simple assault after she threw several lemons at her husband during an argument. Not sure what started the trouble, since thestoryis short on juicy details.

And now we have a story that more than likely won’t feature jokes as bad as the one above. What can I say, it’s easy to write unoriginal lemon humour.

18-Year-old Tiffany Wallace of Boise, Idahosounds, to use the proper term, like a friggin nut.

According to police, the young man driving the Kia called dispatch to report he was being followed by a woman in a red GMC Sonoma pickup. He said the woman had cut him off, yelled obscenities at him, and was throwing coins and ranch dressing at his car. He tried to get away, but she continued to follow him.

The dispatcher told the man to drive to the parking lot of St. Alphonsus, which was nearby, to meet an officer. When he pulled into the parking lot, the driver of the pickup rammed the Kia at least three to four times, according to witnesses.

Police say the Kia was heavily damaged with numerous dents that appeared to be caused by coins thrown at the car, the rear bumper of the car was falling off, and the taillights were falling out. The Kia’s sides and trunk also had spots of ranch dressing that had apparently been thrown by the driver of the pickup.

Luckily, nobody in the Kia was tossed from the vehicle. Sorry, couldn’t help myself.

Wallace was booked into the Ada County Jail on a charge of aggravated battery. You can all thank me for not making that other tossed salad joke now.

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