My Butt Hurts

Last Updated on: 7th March 2013, 08:47 am

If you feel like getting ripped off today but you’re not sure how to go about it, here’s an idea. Buy a couple ringtones from Rogers. I’m not sure if it’s the same with every company, but Rogers and the music industry have teamed up to lay an epic assfucking on anybody who dares try to decorate their cell phones with something other than the default tones they came with. How bad is it? Well, try $3.50 plus a 75 cent “download fee” bad. Seriously, go check for yourselves if you don’t believe me. I knew looking would be a poor idea since Carin kind of gave me a heads-up a while back, but I was honestly not prepared for that.

It’s not even like you’re paying $4.25 for an entire song. That would still be ridiculous since we live in a world of 99 cent mp3 downloads and $10 digital albums, but maybe cell phone bandwidth is more expensive or something so we’ll pretend it would be on the outer edges of flirting with acceptability. Yes Rogers, I said pretend, because it isn’t. But no. for your $4.25,all you get is a chorus. Yes, that’s all. for easy figuring and because I have no idea how much it actually would be, we’ll say that’s like 1 10th of a song. If a whole song costs a dollar in the real world, that chorus is worth no more than 10 cents. I can handle 20 if you need to get your download fee in there, but $4.25? Get the fuck serious. For $1 worth of effort I can rip my own songs, run them through a sound editor and slap that same chorus on my phone in about 5 minutes which,I should point out, is about the same amount of time it takes for my fucking phone to connect to the goddamn shopping cart to start with.

Whoever said that lotteries were a tax on stupid people obviously never met the Rogers download store. At least with the lottery you have a chance of getting something of great value for a little bit of money, as opposed to the exact opposite like is happening here. And the industry wonders why people “steal” music.

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