Sacks On Fire

Ok guys, listen close, this is important. When a woman at the bar tells you to please stop groping her and waving your junk at her and others, it would be in your best interests to listen lest you end up like the British tourist whobecame an unwilling participant in a weenie roaston his trip to Greece.

According to a police statement issued last night the incident occurred at a club in the notorious coastal resort of Malia, which is dominated by young Britons seeking all-night revelry.

It alleged the Briton took down his trousers and started waving his genitals at a number of girls. He then specifically “forcefully fondled” the 26-year old Greek woman, asking her to take hold of his genitals.

After asking him to stop harassing her, the police said, she poured the alcoholic drink Sabucco on his genitals (an Italian brand type of Greek ouzo or French Pernod drink).

This again allegedly failed to stop his advances, so the woman seized a lighter and set fire to the alcohol-drenched genitals, local press reports said.

the article goes on to report that the Brit is currently being treated for severe burns at a private clinic, which made me laugh like a friggin idiot for obvious reasons. His medical care is being covered by his travel insurance, which hopefully he’ll have to pay back when they catch wind of the nature of the case.

For her part, the penis pyromaniac turned herself in to police following the incident. She’s claiming self-defence, which I hope won’t be hard to prove since the guy wasn’t responding to reasonable requests and clearly deserved it. Police and prosecutors are investigating and trying to decide if charges will be filed. Everybody agreed to let her go free in the meantime which could be a good sign.

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