Maybe Joe Should Get A Tattoo On His Face

Jared Rohrig sounds like quite the prize. He pretended to be his twin brother so he could get in bed with said brother’s girlfriend. When she discovered that he was not, in fact, Joe Rohrig, he pushed her back on the bed and raped her.

But on top of the fact that he’s an asshole and a creep, he is bone stupid. Observe.

But as they were having sex, the warrant states, she noticed something missing: the cowboy tattoo on Joe’s left buttocks was not there.

The woman “immediately began to cry and asked him where his tattoo went,” the warrant states. “The male replied that he had never had a tattoo and told
her that she must have hooked up with his brother who had a tattoo “¦ The female victim realized at this point that this was not the person that she had
previously had sexual relations with.”

wow, he didn’t even try and make up a clever excuse like “I got it removed” or something to give himself a bit of time.

But we’re not done yet.

Later, the man — still claiming to be Joe Rohrig — drove the woman home in Jared Rohrig’s pickup truck, but could not find the way, even though Joe had previously visited there several times, she told police.

“The female victim looked at the male and asked, ‘When did you think I was going to find out? When I realized you didn’t have a tattoo? When we didn’t use Joe’s car to drive home? Or when you didn’t know how to get to my house because you’ve never been there?’ ” the warrant states.

“The female victim said the male replied, ‘I don’t know. I never thought that far ahead.’ [She] asked him, ‘How do you feel right now?’ and he replied,
‘I feel dumb. I feel stupid.’ The male then said, ‘You have every right to be upset.’ The female victim replied, ‘I don’t need your sympathy.’ ”

He said one thing right in that whole thing. “I feel dumb. I feel stupid.” Quite right, so he should.

Here’s the scariest thing in that article. He made it into the police force, but his brother isn’t being considered at this time. Maybe there’s a perfectly good reason why Joe is not being considered, but how in hell did Jared make it in? He’s not exactly good at hiding his character flaws.

Something about this whole thing reminds me of that great big mess involving Nick/Gee of years gone by.

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