I’m Surprised She Didn’t Name Her Daughter Christine

Uh, remember how I said I couldn’t find anything to post about? How in the blue bloody hell did I miss the story of Jessica King?

Here’s the quick and dirty version. Jessica King was 8 months pregnant. She decided to go drive to a meeting. It was icy. Even so, she thought it would be a good idea to wear stiletto heels, and stand in them while scraping off the ice from her car, which was already running and had the driver’s door open. Then the trouble started.

Then she slipped.

As she attempted to grab the top of the car for balance, she accidentally knocked the gear shifter into reverse. The car door then knocked King to the ground, and the car slowly rolled over her legs as it exited the driveway.

Somehow, she got through this without getting incapacitated. She watched in dismay as her car did slow circles of the neighbourhood, causing all manner of damage. She decided maybe she could catch it…

did I read that right?

Yup. She thought she might be able to get into her moving car and put it in park. Maybe she should go learn a lesson from Lori Baxter. You can’t stop a moving car.

Anyway, wishing to save all of her neighbours’ cars from certain death, never mind any human pedestrians her machine on auto-pilot might meet, she thought she might try and catch it. I admire her wanting to save everybody’s stuff, but…it’s a moving car! As you can guess, her attempt to catch her runaway vehicle failed.

But she slipped again as she grabbed the car door. The door knocked her down once more, and the car again slowly rolled over King.

She said she had tire tracks on her maternity dress.

this time, the damage was done to her abdomen, just inches from her unborn child. Somehow, she drove herself to the hospital and needed a week to recover.

Luckily for her, her little one is ok, and they all laugh at her supreme clutziness. I think I’ll laugh at something else.

Oh, I know what this post needs. A theme song!

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