Hop On the Bus, Gus, drop Your Pants, Lance, Put A Condom On, John…What?

Ok, here’s a situation for ya. You’re on a school bus, driving along. the bus slows down and…a naked, crazy man comes through the window while the bus is still moving! Oh wait, he wasn’t quite naked, he had a condom on. Kids jump out the back of the bus, the guy shoves the driver out of her seat and then cant’ drive the bus anyway. It comes to a stop against a fense, at which point, folks surround the bus and catch the naked man before he can get anywhere. Anyway, would you ever imagine in your wildest dreams that this would happen? No? Neither did I. But some parents of these kids think that something has to be done to prevent future naked crazed folks from heaving themselves on moving school buses.

I know that when horrible things happen, it is our natural reaction to think that we can prevent it from happening again. Some things can be prevented, and it’s great that people think of ways to prevent those things. Wen a plane crashes, it’s good to analyze why it crashed so you can put in measures to help next time that happens. But some things are just unforeseeable. You cannot prevent every bad eventuality from happening. You just have to deal with it the best you can, which is what everybody did. the driver went back with the students and the students jumped off before the bus flipped over, calling for help. People came over and surrounded the bus, helping kids and grabbing the wacko. some people were injured, but noone was seriously hurt or killed. They’ll all live to tell about it. I’m sure they were traumatized, but they will all live to tell about it.

Now, if we start seeing an epidemic of naked crazy men jumping on school buses, it’s time to look at patterns. Until then, it was just a freak thing.

Another awesome quote was this one.

I really don’t understand how he [Pitmon] could be hijacking a school bus. They don’t have nothing to get from them. I don’t know what was going on in his mind, and for him not to have on no clothes, I don’t understand that.

Nobody understands that except Arris Pitmon, the crazy naked guy, himself, and even he probably doesn’t know. He’s nuts. Nuts people don’t think logically because…they’re nuts! He’d already grabbed at a random woman who had bought some stuff at a convenience store before running for the window of the bus. He was either on something, or something snapped in him. that’s all there is to it. there’s nothing to think out.

Gees. If the parents hadn’t started up there “Something needs to be done” speech, this would have just gone in the weirder than weird files. Why’d they have to make it so complicated?

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