I’ve Stolen Your Purse, Now I’m Back For Your Heart

I could never be a criminal. There’s something about having to send the logical, common sense part of my brain on a permanent vacation that just screams no.

For instance, why, if you and your buddies have just managed to rob a couple of people and get away with it, would it then be necessary to return to the scene of the crime a couple hours laterto see if your woman victim is looking for a date?

Instead of writing this, maybe I should go ask Stephfon Bennett. He’s done it, and since he’s got no place to go while he sits in the Franklin County jail just a waitin’ for somebody (maybe even his new girlfriend) to come up with the $100,000 to bond him out, he would have a lot of time to answer. And while I’ve got his attention, maybe I’ll ask him if he took pick-up lessons fromMichael K. Mahoney.

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