>Don’t Wait Around For This

>Abandon hope all ye who listen here.
Before you decide you hate me after this post for starting your day off in such a horrible manner, I have one thing to say in my defence. Blame Carin. Yes, blame Carin. it was her whoencouragedme to share this with you.

Good sweet christ. That guy should get together with Rob Hill and that dude who plays downtown who smells like…how did someone put it the other day ? Unwashed person? Yeah. Who smells like that and who only knows two chords. Maybe they would either teach each other something, or through some miracle, their cries would create an uncanny harmony.

She also added this.

I’ve been wai-ai-aiting, around for you-oo-oo-oo-oo.

See, what is about to happen to you is clearly her fault.

The song you are about to hear is bad. No, I mean really bad. No, worse than that. it is a piece of music so wrong on so many levels that last I heard it was busy creating new levels on which it could be wrong.

I must stop at this point and tell the story behind how I came to be in possession of such hazardous material.

A couple of years ago, our old pal Greg called me up and told me that he had run into Robb, who he had gone to highschool with. I’d met Robb a few times over the years and always thought he was a decent enough guy. If he reads this he might not be thinking the same of me in a minute, but those are the perils of the job and I accept them. Anyway, Greg informed me that Robb had moved out west and was trying to make a name for himself in music and comedy. He said Robb had sent him some of his music and that I really needed to hear it. At that moment I knew I was in trouble. So yes, this is not exclusively Carin’s fault, but she’s around the site more and is easier to yell at.

the song Greg sent me is called Around For You, and against your better judgment, you’re going to clickhereand download it.

The first thing you’ll notice is that everything sounds slightly out of tune. the guitars, the vocals, the whole package. the next thing you’ll notice is that you’ll soon be longing for the part when everything was only slightly out of tune as if you were somebody’s grandfather pining for the days when kids weren’t such disrespectful little pricks. Speaking of disrespectful, this song is still playing.

Things quickly degenerate from there, believe it or not. this has everything that makes a bad song bad and then some. Lyrics that don’t rhyme (gone and down?), high harmonies that sound like some cold-hearted bastard ran over your beloved family pet with a semi, only to back up and do it again…and again…and again…kind of the way you’ll feel by about the 1:30 mark come to think of it, vocals that I think are supposed to be sung in a round that turn out more like a rectangle (definitely some kind of tangle to be sure), and poor recording quality (seriously, be careful of your ears and speakers). It’s also long, clocking in at 4 minutes and 43 seconds. Sure that may not seem like much now, but shortening it by about 4:43 would have greatly improved matters. and all that I’ve said so far doesn’t even touch on the big question. If our friend Robb here is trying to make his name in music and comedy, which is this supposed to be?

But unlike a lot of the crap I have so much fun writing about here, this song has proven useful a time or 2. If you’ve ever had one of those contests with your friends to see which one of you has the wackiest or worst song in your collection, this one’s almost always a sure winner. Unless your buddy comes back at you with someFlorence Foster Jenkins,you can’t lose.

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