I’d Ask Why, But There’s No Use

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to write about this. Maybe I’ll start writing and see what happens.

I just found out yesterday that a cousin of mine killed himself. We didn’t see him very often, but when we did see him, we used to play with him. He was little and we were way bigger. I guess technically he’s my mom’s cousin’s son. Gack. He’s a cousin. Of the two brothers, he always seemed like the happier one. His big brother was always so serious. And the little brother’s the one who goes and does this. But then again, we didn’t see much of them after they lost their mom to cancer 16 years ago. Maybe things changed a lot. I can’t imagine losing my mom at only 5 or so.

I can’t believe it. He’s in his early 20’s. Life’s just beginning. Why decide it’s over?

I’m going to the service. I don’t know what to expect. I’m probably going to be a mess just because other people are breaking down around me.

I just hope this doesn’t wreck the rest of his family. There aren’t many left. I hope his brother and dad and everyone who needs it get lots of support and don’t blame themselves for this.

I don’t really know what else to say. What a tragedy. What a shame, what a loss, what a tragedy.

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