Got Your Nose!

Don’t fuck with two men in Tuscumbia. They’ll think nothing of biting off the end of your nose.

William Cole thought he’d quick break into a house and steal something, anything, I guess. He just waltzed in the door, past the two dudes who were inside, as if he owned the place. That’s a lot of balls. He grabbed one of their coats and started to make for the door. Dude no. 1 didn’t like that so much and confronted him. Dude no. 2 woke up, and held a knife to Cole’s crotch. Well, I guess I said he had big balls, so maybe his crotch was easy to aim for. Then the other dude bit off the end of his nose! Cole got away when one of them went to get a shotgun. The chunk of his nose remained at the scene when cops came to retrieve it as evidence. Then Cole, minus a chunk of his nose, turned himself in…but he denies breaking into the house and he says he was only turning himself in because of prior warrants. Uh-huh. Right.

These dudes don’t mess around! I mean, the guy broke in, so he deserves to get attacked, but…holding a knife to his crotch? Biting off his nose? Wow! I don’t know. If I was awakened out of a dead sleep, I don’t think the first thing I’d think would be “Get a knife and hold it to his balls! Now let’s have a nice nose for breakfast!”

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