The Taste Is Gonna Move Ya

When I first heard the story of a chemistry student blowing his face off with exploding bubble gum, my bullshit meter went off the charts. First off, they didn’t mention his name and there were a lot of details left vague. But now I have his name, Vladimir Likhonos from the town of Konotop in the Ukraine, so there’s a shred of credibility. But I’m still suspicious…so if I find out I’ve been had, I won’t be surprised.

Here’s the story. Likhonos was studying like a good chemistry student should, and he decided to chew some gum. But he had this weird habit of dipping his gum in citric acid before chewing it. Dandy! The only problem was he had another chemical on his desk that looked just like citric acid, except it had the capacity to make things go boom…and that’s what he accidentally dipped his gum in. He popped the gum in his mouth and well, his mouth went pop.

I’m sorry. I feel evil putting it that way, but that’s what happened. He blew half his face off. That’s some powerful explosive. They still don’t know what it is, and they’re bringing forensic investigators to it because they’re afraid of transporting it.

Dude, don’t have explosives and citric acid on your desk if they look the same. Please, for the love of Pete, mark the dangerous one.

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