The Creature From The Black Saloon Came Through The Mail Slot!

Remember back when I mentioned that band I’ve never heard of? Well, their album arrived a couple of days ago! I just figured out what it was since I wasn’t sure if it was a Christmas package or this, but I have now listened to the album. These guys are hilarious.

It’s funny. At first you wonder if they’re trying to be funny or just being another country band. But after a while, you know they’re trying to crack you up. If you’re tired, some of the songs take some work to get the joke…or maybe I was just beyond the point of no return last night when I listened to it. But even if I was, I enjoyed the album and woke up with a song in my head from it.

Let’s break it down song by song because that’s fun.

The Golden Triangle: Meh. I dunno. I think they were trying to make fun of those old songs like “El Paso.” I got bored, but that’s ok. I think they were just warmin’ up.

Hot Tubs of Tears: Hahahahahh! Awesome! The music is awesome, and the words crack me up. He can’t eat a bite of tofu, can he?

Pflugerville: I woke up with this song in my head. I seriously stood out there picking up Trixie’s poop going “I fled with my flogger from Pflugerville, Pflugerville, Pflugerville…”

The Car Hank Died In: These guys are sick, but oh well. He sounds like another guy, and I can’t figure out who it is.

Swingin’ From Your Crystal Chandeliers: This song makes me laugh, and reminds me of that awkward moment at my friend’s wedding when her grandpa sang “Crystal Chandelier” in front of everyone. Uh, bad song choice at a wedding, dear old granddad.

Kool Whip: This is just one of those what the fuck moments. But we like those.

We Are In Control: Another what the fuck moment.

Didn’t Go To College But I Could Have. I just like this song. It reminded me of this old post.

Saguaro: We have now arrived at the song that drove me to get this album…and it made it worth every penny! I love this song. I think it’s just the greatest song ever. It’s done in the style of those old western stories of duels and showdowns at high noon in the center of town. It’s just awesome. I cannot tell you how great it is with words alone. I especially love the ending. It’s beautiful.

Keeping Up With the Joneses: Ya know, like George. Great job of parodying his voice by the way. And great “Along Came Jones” reference in there. I have never heard that song, and need to, but Steve started laughing his ass off when they did that.

The War Between The States: I’m a fan of this song. It can’t beat something like “Saguaro” but it cracked me up. It was done as if it was written by someone in the deep south. I love the line about “My wife ran the plantation with our happy slaves, of course.”

Old and Fat and Drunk: It tried to crawl up in my head and share space with Pflugerville, but it didn’t do so well. It just makes me think of those old barroom songs. I love the line “Then maybe one day, we will slowly roll away…”

Chester Woolah: What is up with this song? It reminds me of something, but I can’t figure out what it is. Does someone else know it who can maybe point me in the direction of that something?

Anahuac: Does Anahuac exist? You have to tell me. My good god, Google says it does. It’s some town in Texas. Well, the lizards don’t seem to be big fans of the place. But I am a huge fan of this song. I almost know all the words already! There is a moment where the song meets up with “Christmas in Ignace” on the highway to holy hell. It’s great fun shit, with some intentionally horrible singing in there.

So that be the album. If you like older country music with banjos, fiddles and guitars, and you like a joke or 2, go get it. You can find it on their site, www.austinlizards.com. I liked this album so much that I may have to get more of their stuff.

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