Septuagenarian Salami Smackdown!

It’s always nice to see a family doing things together. Whether the task at hand is holiday shopping, preparing Christmas dinner orteaming up to beat down an old guy who won a tug of war over a shopping cart,the spirit of cooperation that the holidays seem to bring out in all of us can’t help but warm even the coldest of hearts. So surely it is then that many a supermarket patron heart in the German city of Aachen was warmed on Saturday when one of those things happened, and I bet you know which one.

The trouble started outside when a 74-year-old man and a 35-year-old woman began arguing over which one of them had dibs on a cart during an apparent holiday induced buggy shortage. The man got the better of things but soon found himself on the wrong end of a fist thrown by the woman’s younger brother and then on the ground as the siblings and their mother triumphantly made their way into the grocery store with the disputed food wagon.

But where many would see defeat and despair, our aged friend saw a chance to right a wrong, and off he set to find his attackers and rain vengeance upon them.

His opportunity came swiftly when he caught up with them at the cheese counter. Wasting no time and no movement, he began dishing out justice with a series of salami shots to the man who had hit him. Seeing trouble, the family matriarch rushed to his defence, bringing with her a 4 pound block of Parmesan she thought would function quite well as a dagger. But the old man would have none of this, and responded with a push that caused her to fall and hit her head on a glass countertop.

Police were called to break up the fight, which the judges give to the old man by unanimous decision.

No charges appear to have been filed over the incident yet, but perhaps being part of such a ridiculous scene is punishment enough.

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