>You Are Here?

>As usual, it’s been a while since I’ve tried to crank out one of these things. It’s getting harder and harder the longer the site lives because once you’ve made a joke about a search, it’s hard to make it again and still have it come off kind of original. There’s also the growing problem of people searching for things that actually make sense and are useful. Bastards, all of you! But even though the odds are against me, all hope is never lost. So like the good soldier I am, I shall continue to mine the stats for nuggets of…hmmm…gold doesn’t seem quite right, what word am I looking for here? I’m not sure. anyway, while I go try to Google up an answer, have a gander at some of the stuff your fellow Comet patrons have been Googling.

11 Jun, Thu, 01:09:33
Google:
when the fuck are they going to cure herpes

I love it when people ask search engines questions, especially when they get all angry about it. Like if they just type the right words in a pissed off way, science will take note and say to itself “gee, we’d better get a move on here, Ray’s dick hurts.”

03 Aug, Mon, 09:31:59
Yahoo:
spirm count in germany

I had no idea there was an exchange rate. As soon as I’m done here I think I’m going to contact theXE.compeople and see if they’ll add that option to the menu.

08 Aug, Sat, 04:29:21
Google:
washing clothes with vomit

I’ve always prefered soap and water, but hey, to each his own.

07 Aug, Fri, 14:19:05
Google:
what is the best way to make a a a woman huppy

Get your self a girlfriend and some sex ed books, do what they tell you, then wait and hope for the best.

If you’re new here and don’t get that joke, gohereamong other places.

While we’re on that subject…

25 Nov, Wed, 04:24:54
Google:
how are babby form

10 Dec, Thu, 19:20:44
Google:
how do i form babby

I’ve lost count of how many of those we’ve gotten. It’s to the point where I have to think that at least some of the people who want to know howbabbyisformedare serious, and not only did they miss sex ed, but also how to spell baby correctly class.

23 Sep, Wed, 01:12:28
Yahoo:
what fruit and leafs to eat good for premature ejactculation

I’ll forgo commenting on this person’s fabulous spelling in order to get off on a mini rant.

Why do people always say that something is good for something else when it obviously isn’t? I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard somebody say “try this cream, it’s really good for burns.” No, it’s not. You know what’s good for burns? touching hot things or setting yourself on fire. Have yet to come across anything better, in fact. If you say the cream is good for treating burns, that’s totally different, not to mention accurate.

Ok, grammar lesson over, back to our regularly scheduled making fun of people now.

22 Oct, Thu, 20:17:27
Google:
how to put a real fruit in my head

Try thinking about yourself? Ha! Gotcha!

02 Dec, Wed, 10:23:34
Google:
can i go back to bed please

Amazingly, it wasn’t me who looked this up.

07 Jan, Thu, 21:14:05
Google:
how to tell a boy to stop grabbing my ass

Saying “hey Name Here, stop grabbing my ass” should generally do the trick, but if that fails and you have the right tools, you could always try goingthis route.

Now it’s time to put the What The Fuck Department to work. I apologize in advance if I let some of these pass without comment, but seriously, what is there to say?

03 Aug, Mon, 06:33:34
Yahoo:
Korean hookers and Oompa Loompas

Sounds like the kind of night that could explain how the guy up top got those herpes he wants fucking cured.

09 Nov, Mon, 16:06:20
Google:
amazon survey -widget -widgets -rainforest -rainforests -prime -kindle -mp3 -affiliate -jungle -voucher -vouchers -giveaway -giveaways -amazon.co.uk -amazon.ca -swagbucks -swagbuck

Even stranger than the search itself is that we got it more than once. More than twice, come to think of it.

16 Nov, Mon, 15:52:53
Google:
usb kick nuts

Can’t help you out there, but consideringsome of the crap that already exists,my advice is to just give it time.

19 Nov, Thu, 01:15:15
Google:
what do you think if the masked mutant would have continue be llike

I think him would have stay same for while.

19 Nov, Thu, 13:19:52
Bing.com:
slap happy vomit videos

Ok, let’s get back to some more normal territory.

17 Dec, Thu, 13:53:56
Google:
75 year old man salami

My friend, I knowexactly what you meant by this,and I truly hope that one day your context lacking friends and family will stop looking at you funny and maybe even start talking to you again.

That’s all for this time. Hopefully we’ll be able to do this again before the year is out, and perhaps I’ll even figure out what exactly these are nuggets of.

Bye for now.

(Visited 1 times, 1 visits today)
Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.