Yuck! Can you imagine serving drinks, and then suddenly noticing that one of the patrons was staring at you while playing with himself? When you call police and they come, he runs off, leaving his tub of Vaseline at the scene.
Then, he comes back a couple of days later, and he must have found his Vaseline, because they don’t mention him asking for it, but they do mention that his hands were covered in it when police came to get him.
I love the part where he says he wasn’t staring at the bartender, but having phone sex with his wife, and when they call the little wife, she says no he wasn’t, but he’s been convicted of staring at people while wacking off before. I’m sure he’s saying, “Thanks a whole lot for backing me up, dear.”
Basim Salim Abdul-Rahim, you sound like quite the prize. Ug.