Quiet Down, We’re Trying To Win Over Here!

Jesus doesthisever make us look amazingly pathetic as a country.

The game is on and we’re all trying to watch it, so here’s the short version:

Canada isn’t leading the medal standings and won’t be owning the podium because of all the fans and their damn cheering distracting the athletes.

Of course I’m serious, who could make shit like this up?

Here’s the longer, lamer version for those of you not fortunate enough to be near a piece of electronics with hockey on it.

The boisterous and deafening barrage of Maple Leaf support at Olympic venues may have thrown Canada’s athletes off their game, admit officials.

And that may be partially responsible for the county’s low medal count, they say.

“We’ve never seen anything like that and maybe we were ill prepared to how we would react to Canadian fans really showing their colours,” Nathalie Lambert, chef de mission of the Canadian Olympic team, said Monday.

“We’ve never seen this before.”

Chris Rudge, CEO of the Canadian Olympic Committee (COC), said Canadian athletes have never performed before “an audience so big, with so many Canadians and so loud . . . and how each athlete responds to that I don’t know.”

And Rudge admitted that Canada will not finish first in medals at its first home Games in 22 years.

COC sport leaders are going to look at the “adrenaline rush” that the support caused, he said.

“The size of the crowd and the level of support and the noise — I’m not sure to what degree it was addressed by each of the coaches and the team leaders.”

For those of you in need of a game update, Joe Thornton just scored to make it 1-0 Canada. The crowd is going insane, surely fucking things up for everyone.

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