>The Need To Do A Good Deed

>Remember what I said about pay it forward? Well, who knew I would be in possession of a pay it forward bracelet? And now that I have one, why has it become so hard to do a good deed for someone?

Let me back up a bit. Steve’s computer decided the other day that na, it just didn’t wanna turn on anymore. Power button shmower button. Poor Steve was not around to start setting the poor beast right again, or finding someone who would, so I called a guy who has saved me countless times in the past. He has been my angel in all things computer. He has revived Steve’s old computer after the event we refer to as the great crash of 2004, he made it so Steve had internet when he moved to that little apartment back years ago, he has put ram in my computer, he saved my computer when one day it made horrible sounds and spat smoke from the back. Hell, he even saved the shoe thief’s computer! Whenever really bad things happen to a computer of someone close to me, I call him.

The man will not take payment. I think the most I’ve been able to give the fellow is a slide-scanner that I wasn’t going to use. We’ve given him a beer or two, but that’s about it. The only time we gave him money was when he got Steve a new hard drive. He’s just awesome.

So, when Steve’s computer ceased to turn on, I emailed him, um, asking for, um, a little help. Sure enough, boing! There he was saying he could come get it the next day.

He came and scooped up Steve’s computer and took it back to his office. I asked him what I would owe him, and he said “a good turn to someone else. Here. Give this to someone after you do a good turn for them and then they can do a good turn for someone else.”

So now I have a bracelet that feels like one of those “Live Strong” bracelets. It’s so big that I’ve almost lost it a couple of times. But I swear the only way I will no longer have it anymore is after I’ve done something for someone.

But here’s the problem. For the last few days, I haven’t been able to do something nice for someone. The closest I came was I paid for dinner when Huppy’s mom and I went out for dinner, but I felt that was only paying her back for helping me walk all over the wild blue yonder in search of a battery for my cordless phone. So that didn’t count.

And then there’s the magnitude of the “good turn”. He revived a dead computer, and for nothing! I can’t say I’ve paid it forward by holding a door for someone or something. What I would consider equal would have to be pretty monumental. I’d have to rescue someone’s kitten or help someone out who’s in pretty huge distress to do something equal to what he did for Steve.

And here’s the even funnier part. Over the past couple days, I’ve needed help with a few things. Just today, someone had to help me carry things because I had too many and was having huge trouble managing all the stuff and the Trixter. All I could think is “Wow, there’s another nice thing done for me. I’m even deeper in debt.” Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate them all, but I really notice them when consciously looking for a chance to help somebody else.

And, even if I did do something pretty huge, I have a real problem handing the bracelet to them. I mean, I’d feel pretty cheap. They don’t know that I’m paying back a debt from someone else. Plus, I probably would have done it anyway if I could at all.

I hope I find a way to at least in my mind make up for this guy bailing me out of computer hell once again. It’s official, he has succeeded. Steve’s computer is back where it belongs and, as far as I can tell, is functioning like it always did.

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