I’ll Have The Breast And A Wing, And The Cops Can Have The Collar When They Get Here

I understand that robbery is the kind of hard work that can make a man mighty hungry, but at the same time I also understand that sitting down to enjoy your hard earned mealin the restaurant you just held up with an air gunis a poor, poor idea. There’s an unidentified 38-year-old British criminal who I hope also understands this now, as he’s been arrested for doing exactly that at a Southern Fried Chicken restaurant.

He sat down to eat the meal and was still tucking in when armed cops alerted by staff burst into the diner in Colchester, Essex.

An Essex police source said: “We’ve come across some stupid criminals in our time but this beats all. Normal practice is to grab the cash and run. But this man was obviously controlled by his belly rather than his brain.

“After running in with a hoodie and scarf hiding his face, he took them both off to stuff his face with chicken.

“The staff he’d just waved a gun at were gobsmacked.

“He sat there eating for 20 minutes so they had tons of time to dial 999.

“Staff thought it was a bizarre TV stunt. It just goes to show, you shouldn’t carry out a heist on an empty stomach.”

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