How much must it suck to be Jim Joyce right now? I wonder if he’s woken up to his first death threat yet. In fact, I wonder if he’s gone to sleep at all. I can’t imagine how it must feel to know that you blew a call and ruined an historic moment for a …
Monthly Archives: June 2010
Why I Don’t Like The New Copyright Bill And Neither Should You
The conservative government has once again made an attempt atintroducing new legislation to update Canada’s copyright act.In some ways it isn’t nearly as crappy as previous versions, but there’s one major problem that needs fixing before it hits the House of Commons. Included in the proposal is a section forbidding people from breaking any digital …
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His Cell Mate Will Keep Him Plenty Warm I’m Sure
Yes, walking home in the cold sucks. But you know what sucks more?going to jail for carjacking an off-duty Chicago police officer because you figured driving would be more comfortable. For doing that very thing, George Floyd, 17, faces charges of vehicular hijacking, aggravated battery to a peace officer and aggravated fleeing as well as …
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Get Off The Bus, Gus, Get Off The Phone, Joan
I had another dream last night, but this one wasn’t as terrifying as that last doozer. This one was just funny. It started off pretty ordinarily. I was riding the bus, coming home from somewhere. The only weird part was I had my brailler with me. I can’t imagine why I would carry my brailler …
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Home, James…And Make It Fast!
Thanks, Ann, for this one. Ya know, if you’re going to rob a place, your getaway vehicle shouldn’t be overly memorable. It should be a car that looks like pretty much any other car out there, not, oh, say, a stretch Hummer limo. That whole escape thing didn’t work so well.
This Story Makes Me Scratch My Head
When I saw the headline Russian Policeman Kills Himself Scratching Nose with His Gun, I was going to laugh, and laugh, and laugh at this fellow. A police officer would do something so careless? Why on earth would you scratch your itchy nose with a loaded weapon? But when I read the story, I became …
These Are Your Balls. This Is Your Lack Of Balls After LSD. Any Questions?
Gees! If you ever get the strange desire to take LSD, don’t try any in Arcata, California. Police there have had to deal with one hell of a lot of people who are screwed up from the drug. They’re not sure if there’s some contaminated stuff going around, or if a lot of people have …
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Fly, Fall And Fail
If you ever decide to take up paragliding, at least, at the very minimum, finish reading that book on paragliding you started before taking your first flight. I would think you should take some lessons. But don’t rely on some YouTube clips. You should also not take your maiden voyage with only your wife and …
Shit-Faced, Shit-Pantsed, Shit For Brains
You’ve gotta be a special kind of drunk to piss and shit all over yourself and then drive around like that, but you’ve gotta be a special kind of moron to, after you sober up, plead with the officers to leave the embarrassing details out of the arrest report. Not gonna happen, especially when you’re …
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I Think Jail Is A Safer Place For Him Than Coming Home To Mom
Carlos Mitchell, you should just forget about leading a life of crime because it’s not your thing. Let me explain a few things to you. Don’t rob the bank in which you were just trying to open an account the day before. If you were just in there trying to open an account, they likely …
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