Liar Liar, Can’t Set Car On Fire

We’ve heard it since we were little children that it’s better to tell the truth than to lie, because lies eventually catch up with you, and the truth makes more sense. Here’s a perfect example of that.

The first story that Sara Blasse told upon arriving at the hospital with a broken arm was that she was carjacked and thrown from the car. When that story didn’t add up, she said she would now tell the truth, that she was giving a blowjob to a male prostitute who was driving, and he crashed into a tree. When that story didn’t pan out either, they then got the real truth. Here it comes. Are you sitting down?

The real story is that she and her boyfriend Henry Goode had just stolen a laptop from someone, who spotted them and started chasing them. In attempting to get away from him, they crashed into a tree, and that’s when Blasse broke her arm. Then they tried to set their car on fire and failed. Failed? I mean, I’ve never tried to set a car on fire, but a line from the Austin Lounge Lizards comes to mind. “Match in the gas tank, boom boom.” I would think the hardest part of trying to set your car on fire would be to get the hell out of there after the flames took hold.

Then, they ran off in different directions. Goode proceeded to break into a gas station and steal a company van, which he then drove through a fense and unsuccessfully tried to set on fire. This is the second vehicle he couldn’t set on fire. Then he just went home.

They caught up to him after the story unravelled, and found the laptop, so that looks like the truth.

Now, wasn’t that a whole lot simpler than those other twisted tales?

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