Please IOC, Don’t Get Rooked Into This

I’m a little late on this one, but stupidity rarely has a short shelf life and this certainly falls into that category, so here goes.

Russia is going topush for chess to become an Olympic sport.And if that’s not retarded enough, they’re going to aim for it to be included in the *Winter* Olympics.

“regrettably, the International Olympic Committee doesn’t want to add that sport to the Olympic program,” Says Russian Olympic committee chairman Alexander Zhukov. “But we will insist on that.”

Would it surprise any of you to learn that Mr. Zhukov headed the Russian chess federation between 2003 and 2009? Me neither.

First things first, let’s take the word sport right out of the equation. Chess is not a sport to begin with, it’s a board game. And its closest connection to winter, near as I can tell, is that you can play it to pass time when it’s too cold to do anything else. Adding chess to the Olympics would be about as stupid as sports TV networks covering poker 18 hours a day like its a sport too…ok, bad example. But that’s about as bad an example as chess in the Olympics is an idea.

However, in the interest of fairness, let’s at least hear the argument for chess’s Olympic inclusion.

He argued chess deserves inclusion into the Olympic program because of its global popularity.

You know what else is globally popular? Beating off. And while it requires more athletic ability than chess, it’s not a winter sport either, even if you do it in the snow.

I imagine this idea will die a thousand swift deaths, but then again, if the right person with the right sized cheque makes the right presentation to the IOC, anything is possible.

Note: Everything I just said does not apply tochess boxing,which could be the best idea for a sport perhaps in history. Do you hear me, people in charge of the Summer Olympics?

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