Hair Spray

Eeewww eeewww eeewww!

Ok, now that I have that out of the way, I can tell the story.

Michael Wayne Edwards is a sick and twisted man. He apparently stood behind a woman in a supermarket line, staring at her. Then, he followed her out of the store and sprayed human semen from a plastic bottle onto her hair and back.

I have so many questions. Did he come, har har I said come, to the store intent on finding this woman? Or does he just pick random women and then fire his, um, pre-loaded weapon? Is this as close as he can get to sex? Or does he just like watching them freak out, kind of like the dude who hits kids in the back of the head with his keys, or that woman who would shoot pedestrians with blow darts because she liked to hear them say “ouch”?

Eeewww. I would want to run home and scrub scrub scrub myself down as soon as possible. I would hate to have to wait so they could collect evidence.

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