What A Funny Joke! Now I Can’t Breathe!

I said I need to stop looking at stupidity for a minute. Then I found something that has made me think I need to stop for a few hours. This is so unbelievably preventable, so sad, so…so…stupid! Go read it, and then you’ll be in the same state I’m in right now.

4 men and five kids were in a boat, it didn’t say what kind of boat it was. The boat had life jackets for everyone, and thank god the kids were wearing theirs. But the men thought they didn’t need to wear theirs, for reasons I can’t begin to understand. It also had flotation devices on board.

One of them thought it would be real hilarious to push one of his buddies overboard. Ha ha ha ha, funny funny stuff! So over he goes, and he can’t swim! Then why, chief, didn’t you put on your damn life jacket? If you know you can’t swim, then put the damn jacket on because accidents do happen.

Oh no, the second man thinks, I’d better run in and save him! Ker sploosh, over he goes…but he can’t swim either. So now we have two men going blub blub blubblubblub.

Man no. 3 thinks he’ll be a hero, and…splash, blubblubblubblub he goes also.

No. 4, the last adult on the damn boat, grabs a life jacket and jumps overboard. But he doesn’t put it on! Take a couple of seconds to put it on, otherwise, how the fuck do you think you’ll put it on while in the water? You guessed it…he can’t swim either, so he sinks like the rest of ’em. This kind of sounds like that kids’ song. “Ten bears in the bed, and the little one said ‘Roll over, roll over.'”

The poor kids, who are all between the ages of 2 and 9, are left on this drifting boat. One of them, who is smarter than the 4 men collectively, finds a cellphone and calls for help. The kids were rescued. Now, they are searching madly for the bodies of these four men.

Reading that just makes me want to cry. All of these guys could have been alive today if they had just put on their life jackets. I understand that panic contributed to this, but all four men probably knew they couldn’t swim before they set off…so just put the damn jackets on! You have kids to think of if anything goes wrong! Put the jackets on and be smart about it.

And what a stupid thing to do, push a guy overboard. But I think the not putting life jackets on was far worse. Even if nobody had decided to be idiots, you’re in the water, and stuff can happen. You brought the jackets, wear them!

Ok, for real this time. I need to stop looking at stuff like this for a while.

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