Weird Fried Food

We always hear about the deep-fried things at Texas State Fair. Here are this year’s finalists in the Big Tex Choice fried food awards contest. Some of these don’t sound half bad. Some of them sound positively blech.

Deep Fried S’mores Pop•Tart – Pop•Tart with a sensational chocolate, peanut butter, s’mores flavor is lightly battered and deep fried. Hot out of the fryer, the sinfully diet-busting treat is drizzled with chocolate syrup and topped with whipped cream.

Meh, I could take it or leave it.

Deep Fried Frozen Margarita – Sweet and creamy funnel cake batter is deliciously coupled with margarita ingredients. Fried, dusted with a tangy lemon/lime mixture and lightly spritzed with south of the border flavor, it’s served in a salt rimmed glass. 21 and over, ID required.

Hmmm, that doesn’t sound too bad! Now, here’s a dumb question. Doesn’t cooking suck all the intoxicating power of alcohol out of it? If it does, why is ID required?

Fernie’s Fried Club Salad – Super colossal 12” spinach wrap surrounds generous layers of juicy diced ham & chicken, shredded iceberg, crunchy carrot strips, ripe cherry tomatoes, shredded sharp cheddar and hickory smoked bacon. Deep fried until lightly crispy; topped with deep-fried sour dough croutons on a stick and served on a bed of shredded romaine lettuce. Choice of creamy Ranch, Thousand Island, or Caesar dressing.

Hey! Look at this big healthy salad! Now let’s fry it!

Fried Beer – Beer-filled pretzel pocket is deep-fried to a golden brown. One bite and the escaping beer serves as a dipping sauce. 21 and over, ID required.

The escaping beer serves as a dipping sauce? How much more blech can you get?

Fried Chocolate – A white chocolate mini candy bar + a cherry are stuffed into a mouth-watering brownie, dipped into delicious chocolate cake batter and deep fried to perfection. The finished product has a warm just-out-of-the-oven taste! Topped with powdered sugar and a rich cherry sauce and served with chocolate flavored whip cream.

Mmm…that sounds good…if the sheer sweetness of it didn’t kill me.

Fried Lemonade – Lemon flavored pastry is made from Country Time® lemonade. First baked, then fried, this taste tempting treat is glazed with a mix of lemonade, powdered sugar, and lemon zest.

When I first heard “fried lemonade”, I wasn’t sure. But ya know what that sounds like? The Killaloe Sunrise Beaver Tail! Ok, 2 people might know what I’m talking about. For those two people, speak up and describe that thing’s awesomeness. Mmm! First off, it’s not an actual beaver tail! It’s fried dough with cinnamon, sugar, and lemon sprinkled over it. Mmm mmm! I want one!

Texas Fried Caviar – Texas version of a southern good luck staple. Black-eyed peas are fried and laced with special spices blended with Old Bay® Seasoning and are available in regular or spicy. Find them in Cotton Bowl Plaza (next to Cotton Bowl steps), inside the Auto Building, near Big Tex, and on the Thrillway.

I can’t figure out how I feel about that one. Might be good.

Texas Fried Frito Pie – A generous portion of savory Texas born chili accented with a hint of sharp cheddar encased in everybody’s favorite corn chip. Lightly battered and fried to a golden brown perfection. With its smooth medley of hot, meaty, crunchy, salty, cheesy, oozing goodness, “Texas Fried Frito Pie” transports you back to the golden age of Fair Food.

Ya know, I could eat that. I’d probably end up wearing half of it, but I could eat that.

So I guess it’s true what they say. They’ll fry anything in Texas!

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