I don’t know what it is these last few years, but good god, my feet stink! No, if you tell me my feet stink, I won’t pick up a knife and stab you. I know they do, and it’s just the way it is.
I don’t know if it started when I got Trix and started walking faster, but I remember one day when Trix was pretty new and my folks came for a visit, and I came home and took off my sandals. I got Trix a nylabone and she was chewing on it, and mom said “I guess…it’s the bone that smells.” No, mom, it’s my shoes. Those bones don’t smell like anything.
So, realizing that good god my sandals must honk, I tried to wash them. No, that didn’t do me any good. Eventually, my sandals got a hole in the sole, so they had to go. But that’s when I started to notice that my feet made my shoes smell.
Another thing I seem to do more now is ware down my shoes. I admit that I’ve had this same set of running shoes for 3 years, but I’ve never seen shoes do the things they do now that I have Trix. I looked at my shoes, and noticed that a piece of the heel was starting to peel off, making them quite leaky. Since I have small feet and need to fit orthotic arch support thingamabobs in my shoes, I hate getting new shoes because it’s such an ordeal. So, I decided I’d take these suckers to the shoe repair man to see if he could patch them up.
The night before I was to take them in, it dawned on me! I have stinky shoes! I certainly do not want to inflict that on the shoe repair man. Ug! So, I decided to spray Febreeze in them. It’s supposed to be awesome stuff that has the power to get rid of those pesky odours, so why the hell not put it to the test?
I took my shoes, and spray spray sprayed them. Then I left them to dry. When I sniffed them to see how it had done, I found that my shoes just smelled like stinky shoes that now also smelled like Febreeze. Damn it!
I took them to the guy, and apologized in advance for their stink. I told him I’d even Febreezed them, but it didn’t do any good. He just laughed and said not to worry, shoes are shoes. I guess it couldn’t have been too bad, because he did manage to glue that heel piece back down and didn’t say anything.
Damn me and my stinky feet. But maybe that’s a good thing. The shoe thief wouldn’t even get to the point of trying to fit his feet in my shoes. He’d just know those weren’t his by the stink! It would be pretty funny to watch him try to stick his big feet in my little shoes, though. Another friend has done that before.
Incidentally, the other day I wanted to find the original place where I explained where Shoe got his name, but I can’t find it anywhere. I’m pretty sure it’s in a comment thread, but which one? I even looked through the thread of doom! Does anyone remember?