A Few More Jokes That Some Of You Aren’t Going To Like

While I’m busy offending everybody, how’s about a few more? *Q. How many gay men does it take to put in a light bulb?A. Just one, but it takes an entire emergency room staff to get it out. *Two pedophiles were sitting on a park bench. A six year old girl comes skipping by. The …

Open The Door, Get On The Floor, Everybody…Hump The Dinosaur?

Ooo! A humping! We haven’t had one of these in a while. All we know for sure is that somebody flashed some girls in a playground, and then humped a dinosaur-shaped piece of playground equipment. Police think that a drunken fellow by the name of Guadelupe Paramo-Almanza was the one who did it, but they’re …

Who Has Egg On His Face Now?

Agim Demiri has a strange idea of how to express his disapproval with court decisions. When coming before Judge Timothy J. McJoynt to deal with some owed child support, I guess he didn’t like the ruling, so threw an egg at the judge. He narrowly missed him, but the egg splattered a plaque and some …

He’s The Kind Of Man Who Knows When To Quit

When I said it looked like there would be no consequences for slimy DA Kenneth Kratz, apparently I was wrong. He thought he was above the law, but four more women came forward with similar claims, and the governor was working on forcibly removing him from his position. Then, Kratz decided it would be simpler …

Somehow This Latex Didn’t Protect Me Like I Thought It Would

We have learned before that spray paint is toxic, especially when applied to the face. Now, Brian Mattert has taught us that being covered in latex paint will not cause a taser to become a death ray. It won’t do much of anything, except force the cops to replace their uniforms.

What A Crappy Plan

Oh my my. I’d hate to see the collective IQ at this family reunion if Donald Denney and his son Donald Denney are any indication. I mean, they didn’t even bother putting Jr. on one and Sr. on the other. I can see it all now when the younger Denney was born. Young Donald: Waaaaa!Proud …

Caffeine Bound For Your Yom Crappur

This story about jews buying caffeine suppositories to take during Yom Kippur to get around the fasting and no caffeine rule reminded me of Steve’s post about sabbath-friendly appliances. But do you need caffeine that badly that you’re willing to take it up the pooper? I guess the answer is yes, since the pharmacy even …

I Know Markakis Sucks, But That’s No Reason To Throw At His Head

This is probably going to sound stupid coming from a guy who’s favourite sports involve people getting beaten up and injured, but all this stuff about how the Jays need to retaliate against the Orioles for throwing at and hitting Jose Bautista twice yesterday needs to stop. I get that people say it’s a part …